


Endless Lies

by shinysylver



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-21
Updated: 2011-09-21
Packaged: 2017-10-23 22:11:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/255591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinysylver/pseuds/shinysylver
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jenna does what she has to, no matter the cost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Endless Lies

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Powrhug](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Powrhug/gifts).



> I don't own Hawaii Five-0.
> 
> Spoilers for episode 2.01.
> 
> Written for [](http://powrhug.livejournal.com/profile)[**powrhug**](http://powrhug.livejournal.com/) who bought me in the [](http://help-yca.livejournal.com/profile)[**help_yca**](http://help-yca.livejournal.com/) charity auction. I hope you like it! Thanks to [](http://somehowunbroken.livejournal.com/profile)[**somehowunbroken**](http://somehowunbroken.livejournal.com/) for being an awesome comma wrangling beta.

Jenna held perfectly still, staring at the ceiling until she heard Steve's breathing even out into the deep rhythm of sleep. Letting out a breath she hadn't even realized she was holding, she slipped out of bed and into the bathroom to clean up.

She turned on the faucet and stared at herself in the mirror. She looked tired, and despite having spent the last several months in Hawaii, she was pale; too pale, except for the rapidly darkening bruise under her eye. She pressed against it gently, wincing at the sharp pain, and sighed. She really wasn't cut out for field work, but she didn't have any choice. If she was going to succeed she couldn't be squeamish about a few punches every now and then.

Shaking her head, she splashed some water onto her face and returned to the bedroom, sliding under the covers next to Steve. Jenna watched his back rise and fall and wondered for the millionth time if she was doing the right thing. But she didn't have much of a choice. The Agency had given her one opportunity to avenge her fiance and she was going to take it, no matter the cost. She had long ago vowed to do whatever it took and she wasn't going to back down now, no matter who it hurt.

"Hey," Steve mumbled. He rolled over and slung his arm over her hip. "Stop it."

"Stop what?" Jenna whispered, trying to keep her voice even.

"Stop worrying," Steve replied. He pulled her against him and nuzzled his face into the crook of her neck. "We'll get him eventually."

"When did you get so positive about it?" Jenna asked.

Steve kissed her neck. "It's the sex. It makes me downright chipper."

Jenna's heart clenched at the lightness in his voice. It wasn't supposed to be this way. She wasn't supposed to care. She took a deep breath, hoping he didn't notice the way it shook, and rolled over to face him, close enough that their noses touched.

"Chipper, huh?" she asked, rubbing her nose against his playfully.

"Extremely," he grinned, shifting around until she could feel his hard cock pressing against her leg.

"I see that," Jenna said dryly. She forced a smile and slid her hand down to cup his erection. "We should do everything we can to keep your mood up."

"I agree," he murmured.

Steve leaned in to kiss her before rolling her over onto her back and settling between her legs. She closed her eyes as he entered her, not wanting to see his because they were too damn expressive. She hated seeing herself in them because she could barely stand it when he looked at her with such fondness and care. Besides, this way it was easier to pretend he was someone else, easier to pretend he was the man she was doing this for, the man she had sworn to love.

"Hey," Steve asked, his voice full of concern. He stopped moving and she opened her eyes to see him hovering over her. "Are you okay?"

"Of course I am."

He reached down and gently cupped her cheek rubbing his thumb under her eye. "You're crying."

Jenna rubbed at her face, surprised to find it wet. "I'm sorry."

Steve pulled away and sat on the edge of the bed, looking worriedly down at her. "No, I'm sorry. Did I hurt you?"

"What?" Jenna asked.

"I know you took a couple of hard hits tonight and if I was too rough--"

"No," Jenna said firmly sitting up and taking his hand in hers. "I'm fine."

Steve studied her quietly and she did her best to meet his gaze confidently. The last thing she wanted was for him to think he'd hurt her.

"Were you thinking about him?" he asked. "Your fiance?"

There was no accusation to the question, only compassion, and so Jenna decided to be truthful just this once. "Yes. I'm sorry, but I still miss him sometimes."

"I understand," Steve said. "We all have baggage, but if you aren't ready for this, just tell me."

Part of her had hoped that by being honest with him he would push her away but instead he was leaving the choice up to her. Unfortunately she couldn't make the choice she wanted. After all, she had been told to get as close to Steve as possible.

The first time Steve had kissed her had been an adrenaline fueled moment at the end of a case. She had responded, giving in to the passion with a desperate sort of longing because it had been so long since a man had touched her, since she'd _let_ a man touch her, but eventually she had come to herself and pushed him away. Unfortunately word had gotten to Wo Fat; after all, hers weren't his only eyes near the task force, and he had been thrilled. He'd told her to pursue Steve's affections as far as she could.

Jenna had balked, almost coming clean that night. She had gone to Steve's house to tell him everything, but on the way her handler had called. He had told her that if she managed this mission for Wo Fat, he would finally trust her enough that she could get the CIA the information they needed. So instead of telling Steve the truth, she had kissed him when he opened the door.

And now here she was, faced with that same choice again. Back out of this thing with Steve and lose favor with Wo Fat, or stay and finish her mission, breaking them both beyond repair in the process.

"I want this," she said, reaching out to grab his hand. She kissed his palm. "Just be patient with me."

He smiled at her, so bright and happy that her heart literally hurt. "Always."

Jenna smiled back. It was the only thing she could do. She prayed that when this was over he would be able to forgive her. After all, she was doing what she had to to bring not only Wo Fat but his entire organization down once and for all. Hopefully Steve would appreciate that, and if not, well, at least he had lots of people who cared about him to help pick up the pieces. Unlike her, he wasn't all alone.


End file.
